Us Brits are renowned for our gallows humour; facing all sorts of adversity with a comforting ‘well if you didn’t laugh, you’d cry’ mentality. How else can you explain the frankly farcical opening paragraph of the ‘official’ press release from the clowns at HM Treasury, confirming today’s capital gains tax tweaking.
No need for the bushy-browed bumbling one to worry about delivery for this cracker, the words, as the highest echelons of humour dictate, speak perfectly for themselves:
“A new capital gains tax relief for entrepreneurs, reflecting the Government's continued commitment to supporting small business and enterprise was announced by the Chancellor of the Exchequer today.”
Such comedic creativity warrants awards, yet nobody with any aspirations of growing a business is rolling in the aisles laughing today. Let’s face it, it’s not even funny so I’ll ditch the wittery now and replace it with honesty.
Just what on earth does Brown, sorry Darling, think he’s doing? Could there be a clearer sign this government is not interested in business?
What exactly has it spent the past 15 weeks doing? Did it even consider the perfectly reasoned and unified voice of opposition ringing audibly from entrepreneurs, leading institutions, commentators and lobby groups alike to October’s announcement to completely abolish taper relief?
OK so the decision to protect the smallest business owners with relief of 10% from 18% quite rightly protects the income of those one-business owners that view their lifetime’s work as their pensions. Well done Darling, but fairly obvious.
Investment remains the real issue. As we sit perilously on the verge of recession such acts of stupidity to further disincentivise investors is unfathomable. Especially when there are so many more deserving targets for taxing - foreign property investors not paying stamp duty, anyone?
Investing in start-ups is high risk. You need those taking the risks to feel the benefit of the ones they make money from to balance the multiple times they lose the lot. That’s not rocket science.
Our whole economy, as messrs Brown, Darling and Hutton continually patronises us, depends on prosperity of enterprise – and yet now it’s blocking the cogs that drive it.
Not one significant business angel will qualify for the 10% rate; and our finest, most creative entrepreneurs will be tempted to sit on their lot instead of selling and starting again, creating new wealth, new jobs.
Like a true vulture, shadow minister for enterprise, Mark Prisk had swooped on my inbox within minutes of the announcement:
“After 15 weeks of dithering and delay, only the smallest firms will be spared. Entrepreneurs will still lose £700 million while larger, growing firms have been completely ignored.
“The Chancellor is sending a negative message to ambitious entrepreneurs and their investors. They will now wonder what place they have in Brown’s Britain.”
Perhaps it’s time to consider why vultures get such bad press: at least they’re clever enough to assess a situation and position themselves sensibly. Not sure what animal I’d make the current government, but it’d certainly be toothless and lame…
Anyway, to brighten spirits and join in with the comedy of the HM Treasury press office, we’ve decided to run a competition:
If you can email us either the name of a UK private investor who qualifies for the 10% relief, or alternatively, Alistair Darling’s eyebrows (in order for him to see what’s right in front of his nose) we’ll give you, er, let’s say a £1million.*
Answers, archaically, on a postcard.
Matt Thomas
editor, startups.co.uk
*Please note, this isn’t a real competition and we won’t be giving away a million big ones as we don’t have it. Like our friends in government, it's just hot air…
