Please, sir, may we have some more?

I'm genuinely gobsmacked that I haven't heard a peep from anyone about Darling's pledge to invest £12.5m into women's enterprise during yesterday's speech.

The normally reliable people at the Guardian kept their lips sealed about his promise - so I feel I should take up the critical reins where my peers have left off.

It was only a short sentence: "I will also provide a capital fund of initially £12.5 million to specifically encourage more women entrepreneurs," he said. But let’s just take a couple of minutes to examine it, shall we?

Firstly, how exactly does Mr Darling intend to use this money to ‘specifically encourage’ more female entrepreneurs?

Some sort of investment fund, perhaps – accessible only to those in skirts?

Maybe an advertising campaign, with an opulent, Parisian boudoir theme, complete with swirly lettering that says something like ‘women who start their own businesses have better sex’.

Or will he just invest the money into more women-only Sex and the City-style networking events where people called Ottilie begin speeches by saying things like “it’s so great to see so many strong women in one room!”

Secondly, why does he assume we actually need this money? Why hasn’t he pledged £12.5m for male entrepreneurs as well?

I attended the Fast Growth Business Awards last night, where, typically, one of the categories was ‘Female Entrepreneur of the Year’.

One of the startups team was seated next to a woman who turned around and asked, ‘Is there a category for Male Entrepreneur of the Year as well?’

What these people don’t get is that most women don’t want to be seen as women when they are at work. We get enough reminders of our femininity just walking down the street. We just want to be seen as people: equal to, but not above, men.

And thirdly, I can’t help but think that £12.5m just isn’t very much. As Sarah McVittie, founder of Texperts, put it at our post-Budget discussion this morning: “I don’t really understand the point of it. I raised £3m to start my business on my own so £12.5m is just a bit insulting.”

Which brings us back to the first point, really – but enough of that. Perhaps it’s best to stop whining, obey my inner third-wave feminist, have a pint and drown my sorrows. If I start saving now, I’ll be able to afford one by the next Budget…